Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
