You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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