TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
