Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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