Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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