he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
