my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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