im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
