I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We left an ass print on the piano.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
