Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
