You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Can I color on your dick again?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
