I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
