Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
