I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
