I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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