Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
