Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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