i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
