Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
