He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
someone owes me an orgasm
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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