I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
