But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
