meet me or not, i'm out of control
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
