Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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