Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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