Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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