you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
