If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
You can't motorboat a personality
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
