Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
