coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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