Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
