it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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