Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize