Acid is not a monday night drug
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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