She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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