Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
