My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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