my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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