Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
