a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
