And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
