why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
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