At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
