GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
