Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
ttyl tear gas
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
