he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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