i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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