We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
