and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
