nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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