That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
